Communicate at the speed of nature
Why SnailMail?
Features slower than nature intended
Our services are intentionally slow, delightfully analog, and reliably inefficient. Experience the magic of waiting!
- Handcrafted routing paths
- Each message meanders across digital fields, guided by our expert snail navigators.
- Delays you can trust
- We guarantee your mail will arrive... eventually. Cobwebs included, free of charge.
- Authentic analog vibes
- Send your digital mail the old-fashioned way, with 100% retro charm.
Testimonials
What our (very patient) users are saying
“My message arrived right after I forgot why I sent it. Perfect!”
“SnailMail taught me the art of anticipation. I check my inbox once a month now!”
Pricing
Choose your pace of procrastination
All SnailMail plans deliver messages at a pace so slow, even time takes a nap. (This is a parody; please don't expect real email delivery!)
Slow
Estimated delivery: 2-3 weeks
- Standard snail-powered delivery
- Free moss with every message
- Read receipts (delivered by carrier slug)
Slower
Estimated delivery: 6-8 months
- Delays so long, you might forget you sent it
- Complimentary virtual cobwebs
- Lifetime supply of anticipation
Geological Time
Estimated delivery: Several millennia
- Delivery by tectonic plate shift
- Messages fossilized for posterity
- Includes honorary paleontology degree